passing of a titan

the past week has been a somber and saddening one for most singaporeans. at least it was for me. as like many others, it came as a surprise why I would be so affected by the passing on of LKY. I cant answer for others but for me, the sadness is fueled mainly by regret. as more stories of his flooded the main/non-mainstream media, I started to grasp the extent of his contributions and sacrifice for this nation, the people, my loved ones and myself. he existed more like a concept to me in the past - I had a sketchy idea of how important he was in shaping modern Singapore, how he had done many significant important things for Singapore, how effective was his transformational leadership etc. but now, now then the concept materialized into practice. reading all the personal stories online/in print, hearing all the personal stories from people I know, listening to all the perspectives of many who were eager to pass their judgements on him (good or bad), I think most of us, including myself, finally managed to get a peek at what's beneath the tip of an iceberg. so the regret breeds - that the hard work and diligence of his and the old guards were lost on the new generation with the passage of time, that I didn't bother to understand more of the man in the past, that Singapore may never see a great man like him in the future. it's hard to separate the politics from him, but if you manage to see through that, he was indeed a great man.

but there is always the silver lining, no? unity by grief may not be the most ideal but united we did. most nights of this week, I teared when I saw/read those stories on how we care for one another and supporting each other during this week of mourning. I've never been prouder to be a Singaporean.

he believed in the people in the past and I think that's the right thing too. people are the core of every nation. to have the ideal Singapore that we want, we need to start with ourselves. By embracing the core values that LKY has believed and actively promoted in the past - continuous improvement, grit, graciousness, fairness etc, we can't go very wrong. and while I understand complaining and whining is part of our national identity, there is a limit to it. bring to a personal human level, we can only complain so much but change is in our hand and if we are not doing anything ourselves, don't expect others to wipe your ass for you. in love, in life and everything, we can only try our best and if things are still not ideal - it is what it is. some don't even try, some tried and thought their efforts equate to entitlement. at the end of the day. they are the one who will be the one walking in the same spot unhappy. so I guess, so be it.

there are some personal changes I need to start embracing - it will take time. it will be a journey. but at least I know what I don't know and I'm trying to get to I know them.