feeling the stretch...............

with one more kid into the equation, suddenly my life is getting harder to manage.
last time with yz, whenever i have to run my own errands, catch up with my friends or just a simple two-of-us date with the husband, i can just simply get my mum's to babysit him for a few hours or overnight.
now with yr, its getting harder to plan my activities.

my mum can only handle 1 boy at a time (for now at least) and so i need to get the husband's help to babysit the other boy while im out or to bring along 1 boy myself for outings.
most of the time, i'll bring either yz/yr along to my outings with friends/when im out running errands.
yes, its more tiring to handle the boys especially when they are cranky outside alone.
yes, i cant stay out as late as i like due to their sleeping timing.
yes, i cant be as engrossed in the conversations with my friends.
yes, i need to map out the commuting plan be it just a simple route from one shopping mall to another due to lugging a strolller with me.

but for all the above, i endured and push on because:
i love my boys, i dont mind either of them tagging along even when they drive me up the wall at times.
i love my friends and think the meet-ups are excellent way of staying in touch with each other.
i love to be out running errands and getting things done.

i've not even started on those outings where i need to be alone, free of 2 boys!
like facial, catching a movie, late night meet-ups with friends etc
hence, you can imagine everytime im due to go out sans the husband, childcare arrangement is a nightmare.
actually, only the husband is the nightmare.
my mum is always very kind to help babysit any of the boy anytime, maybe with just that teeny wee bit of grumbles. :P

but this ah long is never a big fan of me going out so frequently.
as he put it, i have super "花脚" aka flowery legs.
last time when i go out, at least i leave yz with my mum so he's free to do his own stuff outside/at home too.
now, he's stuck with babysitting 1 of the boys when im out, especially on weekdays where we dont have the habit of sending the boys to my mum's place due to distance.

i always tell him that i will help to take care of the boys if he's out with his friends.
but of cos, the # of times he does so pale so much in comparison to me. :(

sigh, so the husband aint very happy whenever im out "rendezvousing".
and im stressed and unhappy now too that i cant juggle the different roles in my life well too.
i know sacrifices is a must in marriage and motherhood.
but how much is enough?
the line must be drawn somewhere where hard feelings are minimized.

i can only continue my trial and error with being a "juggler". :(
and of cos, waiting patiently for my boys to grow up so things will fall in place easier.
jia you, ecookie!